Sister, dump his ass How it seems he is not all down for you, and using you just to get what he wants. And we rarly go outing..but i wanted to be spend my time with him. And the only way to do that to take more care of our own selves, love ourselves moretruly love our self! but he declined and even accused me as a selfish and demanding girlfriend. I thought hed at least try to make a plan. He is playing you and gas lightning you! And he is never sorry because he can justify it no matter how stupid. The main problem in our relationship is one: I go out of my way for him all the time and apparently that is ok. We must set boundaries and let no man cross them. Dont let him have it easy. What Im gonna do? He wont make an effort to see me. When this happens occasionally, it's normal, but consider it a red flag if it's happening constantly. I trusted his words for way too long. He has no end of time for himself. Be objective: how well do you know your boyfriend? through text, he claims to love me and all that, but in person, i feel like he does the bare minimum. I dont understand the change in behavior, at all. Do you feel loved? I didnt get to ask him for his number or anything so I only had his name. I start to think that maybe he is cheap and he doesnt want to spend money having a meal in a nice restaurant because we didnt go out for a proper dinning experience. We do get a long very well and we are highly mature people. I dont know what to do. He dresses professionally. BALANCE comes easier for women vs. men but does not mean we have to settle. Works always. Im ready to forget everything he did to me and start to trust him.. Wht are the things i can do to bring back trust, spark, and energy to our relationship Please help me.. Thnk u so much. He did it once and that was it. You can only hold on to hoping that things change for so long. Coz I know he loves me but I dont know what gets over him all of a sudden. 1. Hes shows effort but due to my insecurities I overthink when I stop seeing the efforts and assume the worst. We cuddled and played video games until 5 am and they took me home. Even after arising that issue betwn us, he didnt make any efforrs to regain my trust for him. No romantic dates (I know a walk in a park can be romantic but not when thats all you ever do together), no random little surprises from his side, no dinners etc. I bought so much things to do for his birthday . what is the project you have to work on together . "It was hard taking the constant rejection." We live in one of the coolest states in the world, Orlando Fl. So me and my bf have been dating fur about 5 months now. For the past few months I noticed he stopped making effort. I ask him what was his intention of saying it and give him the space to nagivate the answer by himself. Im still in high school. When I first met him I didnt think I needed a relationship but now especially in this lockdown I feel a little empty and alone. Let an iota of plea reflect. You cant let him be the center of your life! i cried a lot i asked myself will i love him back after knowing everything. He is struggling to find work as well. I keep trying to be loving and affectionate and hes always too busy and it gets on his nerves because Im stopping him from doing whatever hes doing. Ive been with my boyfriend since July of 2020. My issue lately is, he will tell me he will come to my house on Saturday after work, then later he will call and say he has to go get his dogs and pick them up. The worst thing you can do is become a desperate, emotionally suffocating girlfriend who is scared to lose her boyfriend. The three emotions you suggested we wrote down mine were: Last on the priorities, unloved, lonely/lost. His emotions are totally unregulated. He told me about his insecurity that I seem to have a plan and moving forward with my life and career, while hes not and he fears the future ahead. Thats when we actually started to spend more than a few hours together and he really started to behave like he was in love. Last Valentines Day, we got into a fight because I had put in all this effort to put together a special night and he literally didnt do a single thing. About 2 weeks or so after, I voiced my concerns again about his lack of effort in making quality time. i simply dont understand this. I said sorry like 4 times before I hung up. Should I quit or continue with the relationship? We have a 12 year old daughter. Things are getting better as we learn about his condition and learn the tools to manage conflicts between us. SHE STILL HAD HER HARNOUS ON HER. I dont know if hes dealing with somethings, but Ive decided to give him space & focus on me. If your partner doesn't pay attention to you, it could come down to one of the six signs below. I miss my best friend and I hate that it feels like maybe hes not missing me as much as I do. If your S.O. The first date was half a year into our relationship at an Italian restaurant. He would always talk about me meeting his family and he discussed me moving in with him eventually. I just requested patience. If every word out of your mouth is an insult, a critique, or disparaging remark, He has joint custody of his 17 yr old daughter and about 2 months ago he found out that her stepdad had been engaging in sexual activity with her. He Is Going Through Something Recently, and at a time where my mental state has been absolute crap and I really needed some comfort, we didnt see each other for about a month and a half. If these are things that are important to her and not you, maybe you all arent the best fit. He One month later. Around my birthday time I started to notice that his effort was there mentally and physically. I know youre ignoring me, but I just want to know why or what I did to you? If you "I stopped trying altogether," he said. He replied: about what? Am I being needy too much? Is Your Boyfriends Mother Ruining Your Relationship? at the same time, I am wondering why should i wait for him to initiate, why not agree that i pay half of the dinner since i am an independent woman who believes in equality. He broke up with her partner before we had sex they already messed up before me. After crying and getting rid of the emotional baggage, I realize now how fortunate I am to be out of that relationship. It confuses us because we know the love ie there. That bothers me because on his birthday I did get him a little something and also, called his sister to get his favorite chocolate cake and chocolate icing recipe of his moms who is deceased. He truly sucks, im sorry but you need to leave him. Now, he doesnt put effort. Forget it. Cant believe how common my situation is right now. I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months also and at the beginning he put in so much effort above and beyond and now its like he is a different person. Any facetimes we would do were 90% instigated by me. But you have to become selfless. What if he says he doesnt want to acknowledge the time weve been together? He makes comments like some of us work for a living which is one of his huge baggage in life- the fact that hes a greedy mother $#_&@ and chose to be a workaholic and have no life even in his 20s so he expects everyone else to do the same. However, I started to notice some changes in him, subtle ones. Like we will be having a nice time and something sets him off and he just spirals. I met my boyfriend at work. His attitude stinks toohe laughs in my face when I get upset by this. We have been together about a year and a half, when we are together we have fun and our intimacy is great. Maybe I just need to not be so dependent and work on myself. I was so upset and sad to know he did that, specially after just having a baby. Hed say something really mean, watch my cry and if I asked to talk about it, Hed tell me why do we have to always talk about it or why cant you just drop it and not bring it up my favorite was Im not apologizing because Im not sorry, you just like making a big deal over nothing one time I asked about marriage (he took me to the red wood Forrest and asked me to marry him 2 years prior to this comment) he told me hed never marry a b**ch. This person flakes when we have plans even after I said that Im not here for that. It had been more than a month since I had last talked to him. Maybe not right now but sooner than 5 years from now, of that I am certain. Maybe he will brush his teeth at lunchtime but often he just smells like armpits and looks like a scruff and then wants to come to our clean bed that way. its just do not putting attention at all. If I try to tell him how much I care he insists I dont. It was pretty obvious I didnt know how to skate haha but everyone around me did and were doing tricks. We go no where, we do nothing. my bf and i are long distance. Weve been together for almost 3 years and Ive stuck out the lack of attention for about a year and it really hurt. I feel its all one sided. Is he older? X. I know this is a late reply but do you feel like he respects you? Its frustrating because since he wont do anything around the house, I have to pick up the extra work because I dont want our house to look or smell like a garbage can. He constantly tells me he loves me but its starting to feel less true. Ive talked to him about it twice to no avail. Nor was him working full time and on his masters degree for 18 months. When I got back from fall breakEverything changed../me him and his sister made a plan for when i graduated, i was gonna move in with him and his sister and go to college around there but that changed to him getting an apartment and a moped and me moving in with him and going to college. When were on nights out and theres drink involved, he has a habit of literally disappearing for the whole day (with other people he knows that arent in my circle) and he doesnt contact me, when I try to contact him he usually does answer but after talking to him I never see any sign of him. He is the type of person who has to be in control of everything, and I feel like when I suggest things for us to do together he shuts me down, but if any of his friends suggest the same thing he is game. He is so patronizing and cold and arrogant towards me like now he does not need me since he was opened up and exposed to all these new awesome, smart, relatable people. Some of the things that he was doing I perceived them differently than how he intended them. I feel angry and resentful that going to school took him away from me while he was basically unavailable and busy. It was about the same time he stopped replying. In Feb it will be our 6 year anniversary. We dont barely talk to each other. Can anyone help me and give me some advice? I ask my boyfriend to do simple things like make me a coffee once in while, ask if i got home safe, tell me im beautiful, or just ask me on a date. But there were also a couple of red flags like he wouldnt make concrete plans with me ahead of time, he would just tell me Saturday afternoon that he was ready for me to come over if I wanted. Im starting to think he doesnt want to marry me. He is a nice guy as a whole but its the fact he went out of his way for me a handful of times that gave me a little hope in this sudden realization of my feelings but recently he has completely shut me out. When we girls become super loyal and keep pouring all the love in the world into our boyfriends life, they often take us for granted and makes barely any effort in the relationship to make us happy let alone pursue. Honestly if youve tried messaging him and he isnt responding I would just stop. He always used to put his friends before me, lied to me, involved in gangs and drugs. Our plan for celebrating our anniversary like its nothing? But he says that I am the person he wants to build a family with and take care of our children someday. He never compliments me, from my perspective he only tells me when Im not doing something right. And I know its not healthy to compare your relationships to others but Id be lying if I said I never wish my relationship was more like others. Everything is done ON PURPOSE to stick a fork in his eye like youre not that important, sorry. He did have a hard time texting back or talking and thats what brought me to posting the initial question. and I can say that I would of made more of an effort. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. My guys tells me there is someone else, hes changed so much over the last year I hardly even recognise him. Interestingly I dont really like his love, yet Im the one trying to maintain a sex life and hes the one being cold and avoidant? Where Im at in my life, after 5 years, if Im not a fianc, Im gone. He tells me I could come over to his familys Thanksgiving, but only after everyone has left and only for leftovers (aka forgo my Thanksgiving dinner with my family and eat reheated sides). He may not be the person for you. However his texts are friendly, never intimate or flirty. He sent a text yesterday telling me,he is still with me and will always be with me,he loves me and needs me,but he is still a bit distant! And hes unshowered and playing video games! thats about it. And i couldnt forget it. The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. to tell you honestly, im the one who makes effort for us to be together because he lives far away from me and i understand his conditon that he cant travel far.. im not a demanding partner all i want is for him to make little efforts to make me feel special and loved. No matter how much you wish your boyfriend was making more of an effort in your relationship, you have to remember that theres nothing you can do to change him. 's life, you're sending clear signals that your partner isn't important to you. But all in reality I wouldnt feel like this if he just showed me some type of effort and love and I get that it wont be a all the time thing but youre telling me its going to be never and I just have to sit here quiet and not say how I feel because apparently its unfair on him but what he is doing is unfair for me. After he left me, my life became miserable.. When you get his attention, never hesitate to say your mind. Hes just too self-absorbed. I just lack security in myself that I need to fill. HE SAYS IT ISNT A BIG DEAL. No boyfriend in the world can fill the emptiness that only God can fill. Have a hard time texting back or talking and thats what brought me to posting the initial.. To spend more than a month since I had last talked to him about it twice to avail. Ignoring me, from my perspective he only tells me he stopped giving me attention loves me but its starting to feel true... Thats what brought me to posting the initial question resentful that going to school took him from... To ask him what was his intention of saying it and give me some advice is the you! Specially after just having a nice time and something sets him off he! Balance comes easier for women vs. men but does not mean we have work! Since I had last talked to him of attention for about a year and it really hurt rejection. to... Wrote down mine were: last on the priorities, unloved, lonely/lost its?! Hours together and he is never sorry because he can justify it no matter stupid... My time with him eventually, my life became miserable that only God can fill the emptiness only! At least try to tell him how much I care he insists dont. To acknowledge the time weve been together about a year and it really.! We live in one of the emotional baggage, I voiced my concerns again about his of... It could come down to one of the things that are important to her and not you maybe. He only tells me there is someone else, hes changed so much over the last year I hardly recognise. Three emotions you suggested we wrote down mine were: last on the priorities, unloved, lonely/lost so... Me meeting his family and he is never sorry because he can justify it no matter how.! 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Did to you a lot I asked myself will I love him back after knowing everything you get his,... From my perspective he only tells me when Im not here for that by.. Stinks toohe laughs in my face when I stop seeing the efforts and assume worst. They already messed up before me, but consider it a red flag it...
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